Jan 9, 2013

Tips on How to Gain Self Confidence

By Cheryl P. Rivera


There are no secrets in this world. There are only things we do no know at this point in time. And when you DO know it, it's not a secret anymore. This leads me to tell you that there is only one way to truly gain self confidence. This is by a process. You must realize that gaining confidence has almost never happened overnight. Of course there are always exceptions to everything in this world. Learning how to gain self confidence is a process and I want to tell you 7 really great tips on how to gain self confidence.Don't care what other people think. I know you may think "How am I supposed to do that?". Well the fact is that you can't change what anybody else thinks.

Do you have any hobbies or sports that you enjoy playing? Some things like going swimming, painting or writing can hold your attention and get you into a state of 'flow'. While you are in the flow you forget about everything else.Afterwards, you'll feel competent and capable. It's a great way to boost your self-esteem. If you don't have any particular hobbies or pastimes that you enjoy make an effort to try something you've always wanted to try.

Secondly, our hope stems from the things we focus on. We can actively develop hope long before anything good or bad happens to us in a particular area of our life. Yes, that's right, we can develop hope. How?We develop hope by focussing on things that give us hope. By shifting our focus to the positives, we automatically create feelings of hope. For instance, if you continually think about your successes in life, you will be more inclined to feel strong and good about yourself. If you focus on what is working at the moment (rather than what is wrong) you will feel better.

Also if you get in the habit of focussing on the things you can control and not obsess about stuff that is totally out of your realm of influence, you will increase your feelings of hope.Developing hope is a habit. If you make it a habit to focus on the positives and what you can do to make things better, you will feel better about yourself and definitely more hopeful.Here are three things that you should understand in order to fight with your insecurities and gain more confidence.

Have extreme determination and faith. Know that if you have set your mind to do something you will obtain it. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day. Maybe not in 1 week or even 1 year. Learning how to gain self confidence takes time. Some people get over these negative thoughts and gain amazing self confidence in only 10 days. For some people the programming has taken much harder and it takes them 2 months. Maybe you are so deep into it that it takes 5 years? Even if it takes 5 years, when that day comes and you know when you are there, you will feel that 5 years was worth it.

Think small. An accomplishment is an accomplishment! Some things you could put on your list: passed my driver's test and got my license, scored a goal when I played hockey, managed to save enough money to go on a trip and so on.These are just a few ideas you can use to gain confidence and boost your self-esteem. Use these ideas as a base point and add these things permanently in your life.Keep in mind, people are not born with good self-esteem, most of us have to work at it. It develops from your thinking and the things you do daily to make yourself feel good.

If you are stuck in a rut, your life becomes boring and predictable. It kills your spontaneity and appetite for life. You don't feel alive and that makes you feel insecure. Make some changes in your life, especially dealing with your everyday life (your job, your partner, your home etc.).If you aren't happy in your current situation, you have to change it to become vibrant once again. When you do it, you'll automatically feel more confident. It's hard to feel confident if you feel unhappy.

Second, speak with confidence. Picture yourself talking with a very close friend so that you will feel comfortable with your conversations. Plan ahead and think about the topics you'd like to discuss during your first date. This gives you a sense of control knowing where to lead the conversations that would enhance the chances of a successful first date. Good examples for getting to know each other better include discussing your likes and dislikes, your work, friends, hobbies you enjoy and how you feel about what's going on in the world, etc. Keep the conversation light, but not too shallow. Don't hesitate to ask questions about your date as this will keep the conversation balanced. Just make sure it is appropriate with regards to the time and place.

If you get out of bed in the morning and you immediately moan to yourself about the weather, the prospect of work, your looks, etc., then guess what? You will be destined to have a bad day. You are priming your subconscious to create a bad day for you.Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." And he was right. If you think positive thoughts when you get up in the morning, then you will enjoy a much better day, regardless of what actually happens.Accomplishments are necessary when you are learning how to gain confidence. They give you a sense of value and self worth. It's important that you set yourself new goals on a regular basis, making sure that they are set small to begin with. As your self confidence grows, you should set yourself increasingly more challenging goals.

Fourth, be yourself. There is no better way to impress your date than by just being yourself! Show him/her the real you; don't pretend to be someone else you are not. By being who you are, you become more comfortable with the way you present yourself as well as the way you engage in conversations. This increases your self-confidence because you don't have to pretend, you just simply show your date the real you.First dates are very exciting, yet it can cause most people feel anxious. It is important to gain confidence especially with first dates to increase the chances of forming lasting relationships with someone new. Through gaining self-confidence, you increase your chances of being successful with your first date and many more.




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