Mar 21, 2013

How to Be an Effective Listener

By Hal Neff


Efficient communication is one of the keys to success, and once you're good at it, people notice.

Most people think that building up interaction skills involves creating convincing speech and conversational skills, but what you might not understand is just how critical effective listening could be.

Without an effective listener, none of your conversational skills will matter. This is due to your points - no matter how clear - still would not be noticed or understood.

Remember that listening is a full 50% of the conversation effort so it is worth your time and effort to establish this precious skill, too.

Here are a few approaches you may use to build your listening skills:

1 . Beat the urge to speak. Sometimes when you're engaged in a heated conversation, you begin to pay attention to what you are going to say next. You can even be tempted to open up your mouth before the other individual is finished. Try to make the extra effort to keep your lips sealed until they're done talking.

* While they are talking, do not worry about what you are going to say or how you're going to say it. Instead, concentrate on the words and body language of the other person.

2 . Look interested. Your own nonverbal conversation skills are crucial while you're listening. If you're looking disinterested and uncaring, the individual attempting to speak with you will likely pick up on these subtle hints. They may be flustered or less likely to reveal their thoughts. Makes sense, right?

* Engage with the individual talking. Make eye contact and nod your head or smile. Allow your conversation partner know that their ideas are coming across to you.

3. Repeat the highlights. One method to literally tell your conversation partner that they're efficiently interacting is to simply restate their ideas. You could repeat key phrases in an affirming tone. You may even give them a quick overview of what they just said in your own words.

* Avoid sharing your opinions when repeating their concepts or ideas. At this moment, you just simply want to communicate that you've totally understood their meaning.

4. Ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask your discussion partner to elaborate on what they're saying. If you need more information, then ask for it. The significant thing is that you understand what they are trying to get across.

5. Be patient. It's also important to maintain patience, especially when dealing with people who could be shy or may not have the skill to communicate well. If you are not patient, you might end the conversation prematurely or scare off your conversation partner.

6. Follow your partner's lead. Being an efficient listener doesn't imply that your only job is to listen. You can certainly add to the conversation, too. At the same time, you don't want to overpower the conversation. Add your input if they ask for it or when they have finished their point.

Remember that practice makes perfect. After you've had an important discussion, ask yourself what you remember from the discussion. Take note of the details if necessary. Did you allow the other person to do most of the talking?

When you fight the urge to dominate conversations, you will be able to really hear what people have to say!




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