Mar 18, 2013

How To Overcome Disappointment

By Hal Neff


Everyone faces disappointments in life, both big and small. Sad to say, many of us tend to complain and whine about our own issues to the tremendous irritation of others.

It is critical to recognize our disappointments and not simply disregard them, but how do we apply it effectively without being a nag to people? The answer lies in learning helpful ways to acknowledge disappointments.

* Disappointment can develop personality and persistence if you allow it to. Learning to cope with your disappointments constructively can make you a stronger person in the end.

Dealing with Disappointment

The first thing you have to do in learning to manage disappointment is recognize your own old dealing techniques. Everyone has them. Do you reach for the pint of ice cream or withdraw into a room all alone? Do you get intoxicated and try to forget?

Once you understand that your old strategy is not working, it is time to make a fresh one.

Here are A few techniques for properly coping with your disappointments:

1 . Acknowledge what you're feeling. You may honestly convey the emotions you feel without blaming or punishing some people. This is about how you feel about the situation, not others. Articulate your feelings without attacking other people. Always be respectful, but do not be frightened to let them know how you feel.

* There is not a right or wrong approach to feel. Your feelings are valid and if you don't voice your own viewpoint then you will harbor bitterness and stress yourself out. Be honest with yourself about how you really feel about the problem.

2 . Put things in viewpoint. Even small disappointments can be monumental at first. But once you've expressed your hurt, disappointment, or fury, step back and look at the larger picture. How much of an effect is this disappointment going to have on you the next day, next week, or the coming year?

* Take a deep breath and go for a stroll to put your own disappointment into perspective. Taking time to reflect and step away from the problem will help relax your nerves so you'll be much better able to cope with the disappointment.

3. Refuse to doubt yourself. At times disappointment will make you feel like a failure. You may ask yourself why these things happen to you or you may think you were stupid to get your hopes up in the first place. However none of that is the reality. Don't allow yourself to give in to these negative thoughts!

*Disappointment is not exceptional to you. People have been disappointed at some time in their life. Instead of getting down on yourself, think about what may have been done differently and learn from the experience.

4. Search for a remedy or compromise. You can't have your way all the time but sometimes there might be a second alternative that is agreeable to each party.

* Get a few deep breaths, relax, and look for the "silver lining. " It is possible to find something good in about any scenario.

5. Reevaluate and create changes if possible. Sometimes when we experience disappointment, it may be a sign that we need to re-examine our priorities. Based on the level of disappointment you're facing, you might need to make minor or major changes to your daily life.

* Learn to be flexible. Refocusing your own attention on your new goals will help you forget about your disappointment.

Do not Give Up

Anyone who has had even a small degree of success in life has faced disappointments.

* Winners simply don't quit. They learn from their own downfalls and disappointments and go on to accomplish their goals.

You can become your own biggest motivator! Don't underestimate the strength of motivating yourself by saying, "I can do this. I can make it. I will get through this and become a better person!"

You do not need to allow disappointment to lower your self-confidence. That is not to say that you should gloss over your feeling, you could simply learn to cope with your disappointments effectively, then move ahead to bigger and better things.




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